Long week
Well, it has been a long, busy week.
I just listened to the Lillian Sparks tape Laura let me borrow...I cried and cried and cried. Her story about her son was so powerful. You know, for a while I wanted the Lord to use me in a way like she's being used, but now I really don't care what He wants me to do- He knows best. I have a desire, and that is missions- that has been in my heart since I was a kid. I wanted to do peace corps when I was younger, but now I know that God had put missions in my heart. That is what it has been all along...so I'm believing for it.
I think women really do have a lot of pain and many feelings of inadequasy. I struggle with the perfectionist thing. My mother is like that, and the more I see that in her I see it in me...I get angry. Speaking of my mother, she walked right into my room while I was listening to it. It is so awkward for her to see that I have a relationship with Jesus. She and my sister Jaime have been more observant of Judiasm, so if I walked by sight I'd be discouraged. But as Dayo pointed out to me, they're seeking, and Jesus said "Seek and ye shall find..." Hallelujah! They're searching.
I'm struggling in my workplace because it is so secular...the office is small and you can hear everyone. They're all nice people but sometimes say stuff about Jesus...blaspheme unknowingly, or use His name in vain. I cringe. It hurts to hear. Do I say something? I haven't felt led to, but maybe that is just my cowardice. I don't know.
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
My problem? The self seeking part...the keeping no record of wrongs. Yes, somehow I seem to do this, though I do exactly what I do not want to do. This just shows me how much I need Jesus. I get so caught up in other stuff.
Another verse to meditate on:
2 Corinthians 2
15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.
We are the fragrance of Christ! People who will come to know Christ will be attracted to us; others, repelled.
I'm excited for next Friday! Jars of Clay!
Stephen liked the Bible Study...I thought it was good too. Sara, I hope you're feeling better!
I've been putting together a portfolio of all my writings...I have to hand it in to receive my diploma. Man, I looked back at some of the stuff I wrote...man! Praise God I was taken out of the abyss.
A lot of it is about my ex-boyfriend. I'm so so glad I'm out of that relationship!
Yesterday I slept for over 12 hours- that is crazy. I felt like I had no energy. Today was nice and mellow, so I'm refreshed. I'll write more later.
I just listened to the Lillian Sparks tape Laura let me borrow...I cried and cried and cried. Her story about her son was so powerful. You know, for a while I wanted the Lord to use me in a way like she's being used, but now I really don't care what He wants me to do- He knows best. I have a desire, and that is missions- that has been in my heart since I was a kid. I wanted to do peace corps when I was younger, but now I know that God had put missions in my heart. That is what it has been all along...so I'm believing for it.
I think women really do have a lot of pain and many feelings of inadequasy. I struggle with the perfectionist thing. My mother is like that, and the more I see that in her I see it in me...I get angry. Speaking of my mother, she walked right into my room while I was listening to it. It is so awkward for her to see that I have a relationship with Jesus. She and my sister Jaime have been more observant of Judiasm, so if I walked by sight I'd be discouraged. But as Dayo pointed out to me, they're seeking, and Jesus said "Seek and ye shall find..." Hallelujah! They're searching.
I'm struggling in my workplace because it is so secular...the office is small and you can hear everyone. They're all nice people but sometimes say stuff about Jesus...blaspheme unknowingly, or use His name in vain. I cringe. It hurts to hear. Do I say something? I haven't felt led to, but maybe that is just my cowardice. I don't know.
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
My problem? The self seeking part...the keeping no record of wrongs. Yes, somehow I seem to do this, though I do exactly what I do not want to do. This just shows me how much I need Jesus. I get so caught up in other stuff.
Another verse to meditate on:
2 Corinthians 2
15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.
We are the fragrance of Christ! People who will come to know Christ will be attracted to us; others, repelled.
I'm excited for next Friday! Jars of Clay!
Stephen liked the Bible Study...I thought it was good too. Sara, I hope you're feeling better!
I've been putting together a portfolio of all my writings...I have to hand it in to receive my diploma. Man, I looked back at some of the stuff I wrote...man! Praise God I was taken out of the abyss.
A lot of it is about my ex-boyfriend. I'm so so glad I'm out of that relationship!
Yesterday I slept for over 12 hours- that is crazy. I felt like I had no energy. Today was nice and mellow, so I'm refreshed. I'll write more later.
posted by Stephanie @ 10:46 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:22 PM,
Cliff J. Ravenscraft said…
Hello Stephanie... You don't know me. My name is Cliff Ravenscraft. I'm a Cell Pastor and full time Insurance Agent. I just did a post on my own blog about you today. Click Here for my blog!
Why you might ask? Well the blog really isn't ABOUT YOU... Moreso, it's about the fact that I was getting bored with the internet and went in search of other Christians around the world who love to blog as much as I do.
Well, one thing I love about blogger is that they have a tool where you can browse blogs that they host a blogspot.com. I found your blog by clicking on a link to it from someone named "Sara."
Anyway, you can read all about it on my blog if you like.
Regarding your post... I pray that your family will find Christ. I agree with what Laura and Joe said about the talk at work.
Don't give up. Just think, if you were to leave your job, that would be just one less Christian Influence in that place. Those people need someone who will pray for them and be there for them when tragedy strikes. Just show God's love in practical ways.
In Christ,
Cliff
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