Blogger!
Well, last night Laura and Joe introduced me to the blogging world, so here's my first post! I'm a person who starts something and doesn't always carry through with it, but this seems like a good thing to do...especially if you're someone who feels awkward speaking in front of others (that would be me). I have many many insecurities and think this is why I feel so weird around others, but everyone has probably experienced that to a degree.
I'm grateful I know about this.
Tomorrow I have to leave early in the morning and drive with my two sisters (twins, age 21) to Massachusetts. Our family is going to have a Seder at my Grandmother's house. A Seder is a dinner Jewish people have the first night of Passover, to commemorate the Jewish people's exile from Egypt, when God took them out via Moses, by His mighty hand. Passover is when He sent the 10 plagues over Egypt and parted the Red Sea. You know what I love about God? Moses had a lisp, and God chose him to be His spokesperson. A man with a lisp. His infirmity was in the very thing God used Him for- it's like when Paul talks about God's strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. You know, we say things like "I can't do it," "it's too hard," and so on. Imagine being Moses. That's right- we can't do a thing- but with God, all things are possible!
Anyways, to get back on track, here goes my complaint. So every year we have this Seder, but all we do is go through the motions. In fact, my family believes that Passover and all the other stories in the Torah (Old Testament) are just myths with good morals. This frustrates me! But I must remember to be patient, because I too believed that, and they will all be saved! It doesn't matter what it feels or what it looks like: feelings change, God doesn't. My extended family doesn't know about my belief in Jesus- it's a big taboo in the Jewish faith. I feel like a coward because I don't proclaim Jesus to them- in fact, I avoid the subject altogether. We'll see how everything goes tomorrow. I pray for courage, because if I was ever asked, I would NOT deny my Lord before man- but that doesn't mean I'm scared that this situation would arise. You see, I have to be walking in the Spirit, and God has to be my strength for me to do this, because there are dire consequences. But imagine being someone physically persecuted for their faith! It's also an issue because they all think I'm doing so well, that I'm this perfect whatever...little do they know! I think I'm afraid to alter their perception of me. But in whose eyes do I want favor- God's or man's? Thank God for His patience and understanding.
I'm grateful I know about this.
Tomorrow I have to leave early in the morning and drive with my two sisters (twins, age 21) to Massachusetts. Our family is going to have a Seder at my Grandmother's house. A Seder is a dinner Jewish people have the first night of Passover, to commemorate the Jewish people's exile from Egypt, when God took them out via Moses, by His mighty hand. Passover is when He sent the 10 plagues over Egypt and parted the Red Sea. You know what I love about God? Moses had a lisp, and God chose him to be His spokesperson. A man with a lisp. His infirmity was in the very thing God used Him for- it's like when Paul talks about God's strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. You know, we say things like "I can't do it," "it's too hard," and so on. Imagine being Moses. That's right- we can't do a thing- but with God, all things are possible!
Anyways, to get back on track, here goes my complaint. So every year we have this Seder, but all we do is go through the motions. In fact, my family believes that Passover and all the other stories in the Torah (Old Testament) are just myths with good morals. This frustrates me! But I must remember to be patient, because I too believed that, and they will all be saved! It doesn't matter what it feels or what it looks like: feelings change, God doesn't. My extended family doesn't know about my belief in Jesus- it's a big taboo in the Jewish faith. I feel like a coward because I don't proclaim Jesus to them- in fact, I avoid the subject altogether. We'll see how everything goes tomorrow. I pray for courage, because if I was ever asked, I would NOT deny my Lord before man- but that doesn't mean I'm scared that this situation would arise. You see, I have to be walking in the Spirit, and God has to be my strength for me to do this, because there are dire consequences. But imagine being someone physically persecuted for their faith! It's also an issue because they all think I'm doing so well, that I'm this perfect whatever...little do they know! I think I'm afraid to alter their perception of me. But in whose eyes do I want favor- God's or man's? Thank God for His patience and understanding.
posted by Stephanie @ 9:30 PM
2 Comments:
At 9:48 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Stephanie!! Yay, you started a blog! I hope you keep up with it. I've done it for a few months now and I have learned so many things even from my own writing. I think God has used my blog to reveal things to me about Himself and about myself, too. I hope blogging will bless you and help you like it has done for me. One time an Atheist even came across my blog, and commented too, so I think God sometimes uses it to witness (which is sooo cool!)
I'm surprised that you feel awkward speaking in front of others. Honestly, I never would've guessed it. From the little bit you wrote about that, I can tell we definately have some things in common.
I hope you had a good time with your family this weekend. Last year I went to a Seder at my old church. It was really quite interesting (and the food was good, too!) I can understand how you're scared of sharing your faith with your family. God is so good though, He'll work out the perfect time and perfect opportunity to witness, so you don't have to be scared. That's how I see it for myself anyway. He knows you and he wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle.
Well, I look forward to reading your blog, welcome to the club!
At 9:48 PM,
Joe said…
Hi! I'm glad that you've started blogging and enjoying it. I never have as much to say as the others but when I do, this is a good way to get something said that you might otherwise not share or bottle up.
I can understand your fear of telling your extended family about your belief. However, your fear is perhaps greater because you lack confidence in yourself. I bet they are fairer judges of you than you are. Trust God and trust your family's love.
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